Wednesday, December 12, 2007

AWOL

Wow.............where do I start?

Not been near this blog in a month.Barely had a minute to catch my breath.

What have I been up to?

In the last 4 months, I have
  • Changed jobs
  • Been to the UK
  • Gotten involved in a project in church
  • Visited 10 Nigerian cities I have never been to before (and no it was not a pleasure trip)
  • Had a car engine pack up
  • Moved houses
  • Made up with a someone I have not spoken to in 3 years
  • etc etc etc
I honestly know not where to start.....so much has happened...real cocktail of events but one by one they will all come out.
Meanwhile,Update on naija men and mojo, two weeks ago, I went to have a meal with a friend(truly) and saw a bill board with the picture of this girl wearing a green dress.So typical female reaction I said I  liked the dress and thought it was very pretty. Now fast forward, 2 weeks later, the guy goes to the billboard, sketches the dress and takes it to Tiffany Amber to replicate.Madam TA refuses as she only makes her own designs so off he goes to another top notch designer called OM for short.OM says he would have to pay N175,000 for her to make the dress....I mean common.That dress could not have been more than 3 yards in total so what exactly was she charging for? Even the sales girls told him she was just trying to exploit him cos he sounded so desperate for the dress. I think that's a sweet gesture but why should anyone pay over $1000 for a dress when it's not Salvatore Ferregamo ? I hope he finds someone else to make it cheaper but it better be done in brotherly love as this girl ain't got anything to pay back with...abi? I will keep you posted on the dress and upload the pix if it comes.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Fine black brothers-Where art thou?


A friend sent me a mail yesterday about the lack of fine black guys in her office and just thought to share it.

She says:
i was just thinking, actually i was daydreaming whilst my 2hrs team meeting was going on. That should tell you how attentive i was in the meeting and how much i was enjoying it. Anyways as I was saying, i asked myself this question: 'where are all the nice, fit, intelligent, respectable, fine looking black guys? and why do I not have them in my office?' I've been out of university for over 5years and in full time employment since and not at one job did i ever share an office with a nice looking black brother. I was thinking, imagine if there was at least one, work would be so much better and i'm sure i'd love to come to work everyday and attend every meeting. no meeting will be boring if one of these guys was chairing or facilitating it.
Don't get me wrong, i'm not looking for a guy to date or have office romance with, neither am i looking for an office fling(oyinbo/brunnie style). not my style!
I just thought it'd make work a nicer place.

Okay maybe you're not getting it. Let's illustrate
Imagine the younger version of Denzel Washington for example. A black bro who has confidence, can hold his own, intelligent, God fearing and has a good head on his shoulder. Someone who either holds a managerial position or even a colleague in your office. Someone who knows his roots and not a coconut. Not someone who wants to date you but one to have intelligent conversations with.
would it not be nice to have someone like that around especially as we spend the majority of our live at work!

Question: Maybe it's because i'm in the public sector? Is there anyone out there that has such a guy in their office? Sometimes I see them on the train in the morning and i wonder what they do and who they work for? or maybe they're all in IT or some occupation that I don't know about.

Well that is my complain and i want some answers otherwise i'd start my campaign with full force - where are all the fine bros campaign!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Eye candy

Okay....you strut into the office wearing that suit which is quite unlike any of the others or instead of the plain frumpy shirts others wear, yours has the va va voom to it.The guys can't wait to see you every morning while the girls steal jealous glances at you while others are bold enough to ask you where you get your clothes.

My friend "N" works in an office where there is no strict dress code. So while the others go around dressed like they are doing Saturday house work, she puts on a fashion show for them....lets not forget she's smart, hardworking and focused through all of this.

My point is we all know when we are eye candy and trust me..everyone loves it(even spiros).Some of us try to be modest about it and pretend like we don't see the admiring glances from both sexes while some like my sister wants you to recognise.

One day i wore this black dress i got from my girl N.I had multiple meetings and an open day of a new company who has just started operations in Lagos and i was supposed to represent my company as one of their major clients.You should have seen the drama. Every guy i meet that day either opened my car door, pulled my seat out or did something that was just totally out of character for a naija man.It was hilarious.I couldn't stop laughing at the effect i had.

So till next time, go and be eye candy for the day..It just might cheer up someone's day seeing you or having something to admire. ...if u get me....wink wink!oh and my favourite shop.....Zara any day www.zara.com and see the online shop starting in 3 days at www.zarahome.com

Monday, October 22, 2007

Potential yawa in-waiting-intro

I am having a major crisis at work now but the truth is i can't talk about it just yet much as i want to. This calls for prayers, it's about taking responsibility for a slip up which i am partly responsible for. In Times like this i remember Phil 4:6 ...don't be anxious/ worry about anything but with prayers and thanksgiving make your request known to God that the peace that passes all human understanding can guide your hearts and mind as you live in Christ Jesus

I will gist you about this later this week.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Fridays and sickies

I am at work today and can you believe 70% of the office has pulled a sickie today? Some asked from yesterday for a day off and others came in pulling sick faces and asked to be let off for the day and it's just gone past 12noon.They know that we know that they are fibbing but how do you prove and if you don't let them go you become cruella but most company HR policies say you need a doctors report if your illness goes past the first 2 days so if u ask for time off on Friday, you just managed to get yourself a 3 day weekend. You know what' s funny? I had planned to come in and shoot off early but with the smart ones beating me to it , i am stuck in the office for the rest of what promises to be a long day....

Before you think to try this next week, remember proverbs says a little sleep, a little slumber, a lifetime of poverty.

See ya later and remember God loves you everyday.

9ja men n Mojo

Mojo is defined as whatever moves, antics , lines or lyrics or just generally effizy that makes a man successful in chasing women.Naija man have the best mojo in this world i tell you.

Case one: i met this guy who was chasing me..let's call him ....K.So one day he calls and i complained about having backache.After showing all the required concern etc,the next few days he calls me every few hours to ask about my back. He now decides that his concern was not enough and that he would send me a physiotherapist to come check my back out. I thought he was just mouthing until i get a call from the physio, Dr James asking when he could see my back. We book a session for Sunday and he arrives at the house with all his work tool...gels, creams, massage oils, electrodes, infrared lights etc.2 hour session fussing over a back that didn't merit all the attention but i was not complaining.

Or take, Mr.Mojo himself who said he we should go to a private beach.He comes to pick me with a picnic bag containing red wine,yogurt, chocolates, cookies,cupcake , gum but to mention.We go off to this quiet beach where we were the only ones .White sand, a few palm trees scattered about and this tree trunk lying near the shoreline. ...need i say we choose that as the spot to sit and talk .But then the foolishness, we sat backing the ocean cos of the spray from the waves and next thing i knew, we were covered from head to toe in salty water.Apparently a wave had gone overboard and came right to us spilling all our food, phones, camera etc. We were covered in sand and had to keep running up and down retrieving our items lest they got washed out sea.Trust me...he seemed glad that happened cos now it gives us funny memories to talk about.

Or take Mr. Moneymissroad who decided to hop on a plane and escort me out to my destination just for a chance to gist and no..he had no business in that town and just chartered a cab to another town when he couldn't get a return flight back to Lagos on arrival.

So give me a naija toaster anyday...they sure got mojo. Any mojo gist out there ladies? Share please.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Marion Jones and TGH


It is with great shock and sadness that I watched the live confession Marion Jones , one of the greatest female artists of this century admit to taking drugs between 2000 and 2001. The 31 year old who won 5 medals at the Sydney Olympic-3 golds and 2 bronzes has had to return all of them to the Olympic committee. She admitted to receiving the drugs from San Francisco BALCO laboratory who has been involved in the scandal for apparently producing this designer drug tetrahydrogestrinone (TGH) or popularly called the clear because it doe not show up in doping tests.

TGH is has observed to be outstanding, surpassing, on a milligram per milligram basis, every known synthesized or commercial available anabolic steroid at the time of its development. It has also been seen to be around 10 times more potent than the comparison drugs nandrolone or trenbolone( na you know), and produces growth of muscle tissue. This drug was developed by Patrick Arnold and was unknown until 2003 when Trevor Graham anonymously tipped off the United States anti doping agency (USADA) and mailed a sample of the substance. Since then, several high profile athletes have been found guilty of using this steroid(oversabi...but u have to have full facts so i crave ur indulgence)

However, how can a drug so potent go unnoticed for so long? Is it a case where people have just turned a blind eye to ensure the sport receives the glory.Afterall it is a multi million dollar industry with sponsorships from major companies in the world for the top finishers. What would make an athlete who had a record of success in her carrier decide to use drugs at the peak of her career? Would it be put down to bad influence from her partner J C Hunter who had earlier tested positive for anabolic steroids before the Olympics? This is a woman who led her high school team in basketball once scoring 48 points in a single game. She also earned a scholarship to university of North Carolina and was the starting point guard during her freshman years leading the team to win the national title. This is a clear case of bad company corrupts good character. I guess she doesn't know Paul says in Philippians 4:13 that we can do all things though Christ who strengthens us and that includes winning the 100 meters race. I am sure she had a Christian upbringing and knows this. Truth be told, it can be hard to do the right thing sometimes specially when so much is at stake but I rather die trying than face the shame and disgrace of being caught out in a lie or deception.

I and a friend were talking about it and his opinion is that every athlete should be given drugs before the competition to ensure fairness. I beg to differ on that. Anyway, more gist later on less serious matters.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

squish a boob,save a life


I have breast lump....not one ,2 but about 3 or so. Now it appears most women i know now have cyst,fibroid, lump etc but trust me i could do with none of those. A friend asked me once if i was dating would i tell the guy i had a lump.I said i won't except we were talking about something relating to it, we got serious, then maybe i would. I really don't think it's a big deal or something to declare upfront.Do you say "oh, by the way i have lumps in my boobs and dance around quite a lot...just thought you should know". Besides, i believe fervently in God's word that by His stripes we are healed. The day i had it checked out was quite funny.I had a group of medics peering at my boobs and asking if they could feel it.Trust me, the last thing on my mind was self consciousness.I remember saying in my mind "squeeze away as long as you tell me afterwards i don't have cancer"

This is breast cancer month, a month where there is a strong awareness of breast cancer and the need for self examination(please note..note self fondling). Please spare a few minutes and check yourself out.Early detection increases the chances of survival.

And by the way, my lumps are benign. Praise God for his healing hands.

Robbers or Traffic?

i can't believe how much i have changed in one year.It's just about one year since i moved from England to do a stint in Nigeria and everyone was always telling me how in a matter of months i would change and i kept arguing but sad to say,they are right on some issues.

Funny thing happened last week.I was getting ready to leave my office to an appointment i had on the island when we heard gunshots.Apparently armed robbers had just attacked a bank near my office and were trying to get away so they opened fire to clear the roundabout which is usually a bottle neck. I looked out the window which faces the road and saw people taking off from their cars, the security personnel in my compound ran into the different offices and in a matter of seconds the road was like a deserted town.Now the silly part, instead of me to take cover like everyone else, i ran to my driver and said to him to get in the car for us to head out as the road had cleared.So while others were running for cover, i was running into the madness just to avoid traffic.

Can u blame me?I lose about 4 hours everyday in traffic and trust me i was more afraid of it at that point than any robbers.After all, i have been attacked 3 times this year although they were minor attacks and i lost nothing but the truth is i have now accepted robbery as a trade in Nigeria.I would never write negative stuff about i country i came back to contribute to but it's sad that this is going unchecked. My friend's sister was robbed and she was told were to go and pay a fine to get her items back..imagine. She got there and saw a room full of laptops, phone, watches, handbags etc all taken from people. They now asked her to come back the next day as the boys who operated the night before had not submitted their goods...true story.

So is that not a clear case of ......, let me not finish that.It sure makes no sense to me who did it and i know this is new behaviour. Where something that dangerous now becomes acceptable.God save us.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Mrs.Omokorede The Pushy Mum -Typical Naija mum

This cracks me up every time. I was speaking to my cousin yesterday and she is going through the same thing.Her folks want her to study pharmacy because she has an aunt in the states who did and is very wealthy whereas she wants to study computer engineering.The poor girl is distraught at the thought of doing a course she has no interest in.Why can't parents see the bigger picture and realise that there might be a calling on the child to study a particular course or tow a certain line? You can't teach a child to fly and tell them not to fly past your gate..how? I know their wisdom must count for something but there has to be middle ground. I have been trying for years to get a painting into Tate gallery without success(yea right...and my mum is from Morocco.i can't draw to save my life) and Funmi does effortlessly and all her mum can say is she wants to go teach her how get over her fear of blood. My kids can be anything they want to be as long as they still buy me the Bentley and a pad like the one below.

Babangida's house-Is this for real?
















If i had a home like this, i would never sit in here.It's just too.......grand. You know this belongs to a Nigerian ex president.God save us.That's where 70% of our oil money has gone. I bet no one uses this room. or you want to tell me someone actually sleeps on this bed at night.Lie lie lie....this is just for show..ends of.

i remember one time a few years ago i went to see a friend's brother in his pad at Uni.I have never seen a room so well kept and in sync. He asked me to sit on the bed as he had no chairs in the room and i was too scared to sit for fear of rumpling his sheet or getting anything out of place talk less of this room.I will just sit on the coach all night and stare.

Anyway, let me just keep looking and dreaming about owning a home like this one day through hard work and God's favour.Step one of faith...see it with the eye of faith. You know there is nothing wrong in craving wealth.It's just your motive that makes the difference.After all,God's own peops in the bible where blessed beyond measure.Solomon is still officially the richest man in the world till date.

Countdown to wedding

My best mate is getting married on friday and i am maid of honour,first time ever.It's been months of planning, drama, stress, tears but it's finally here. I have just learnt from this whole experience that your wedding day has got zilch to do with you. It belongs to whichever of the parents lives in the town where the wedding would hold.

Like i keep telling her, the most important thing is that she's marrying the man she loves and at least she got to wear her dream dress.The whole train is red and it's got red trimmings all over....the look on her in-laws faces when they see the dress....priceless.I am getting me camcorder and camera set up just to catch that.Can't wait. Meanwhile, i am not quite sure i like my dress.It's supposed to be a show stopper but there's just something about it that's not quite warking for me like nana would say.Let's hope it's in my mind.It better be after the small fortune i spent on it. My consolation is that no be me dey marry so anyhow we go manage am..abi?

More gist when the wedding is done. Wish me luck so i don't trip and fall as i am so clumsy.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Sweep on hunk..sweep on

okay..hang on.How did he manage to make sweeping so appealing? I got this off a friend who is on facebook. Apparently he was home on hols from the UK and his mum still asked him to sweep . His sister took this picture cos she wanted to scandalize him so instead of just shying away from it, he decided it might just score him a few points with the ladies.

Nigerian mums ...(bless them) are just so hilarious. No matter how grown you are, you have to conform to a certain extent. He looked like he was having fun though and that is the key. The word of God says train up a child in the way he should grow and when he is old,he would not depart from it.

He could have told his mum to sod off or just ignored her, picked his car keys and driven out but he chose to obey. You know the commandement"honour your parents so that you days would be long" is the only one that has a blessing attached.

Give me a Nigerian mum anyday.

Christians and emotions-Part 1

I am a God fearing Christian, on fire for God and just loving every minute of my walk with God. One thing though, i have got to learn is patience and to stop rolling my eyes in exasperation at people. I have always been an expressive person and most people can hear what I think without me uttering a word...i just can't keep a poker face.

I’ll tell you what happened. I had this meeting in church to discuss certain initiatives we wanted to implement in our volunteer group. The week before, i had just been elected leader and even though i was reluctant to do it, i just believed it was a calling from God so i should not run away from it. Now there is this guy in the group who nominated me for this position (let's call him ITK). At every meeting ITK takes over the proceedings, never let's anyone get a word in or interrupts people in the middle of their sentences. He always has a solution for every problem we have, splits the house in 2 during the meeting and just generally drives me batty. I have had cause on multiple occasions to stop him in his track once he starts but he just does not get it. I really feel bad that i feel this way about it since we are all Christians and are united for a common goal within the church but i can't help the way i feel. Most time Christians just want to hide their emotions but it just lurks beneath the surface unresolved and I don’t want to be like that.

Do i address this issue privately with him or do i just pray for Patience from God to tolerate his excesses? Readers, what do you think?

Thursday, September 27, 2007

TGIT

My weekends start from Thursday. I don't care what anyone else thinks but truth be told most people's brains start shutting down on thursday.You can get into the office late on friday and very few eyebrows are raised, you get to wear whatever you like, you start receiving invites for events for the weekend and for most cities in the worl, the party animals start to crawl out from their work stations.

My social life went up a few notches since i came back to Nigeria.Weddings, barbeques, dinner, birthday gigs, concerts, etc.I have been invited to practically any worthwhile social event
this side of town ....don't ask why. First few months, it was absolute fun.Now, i am just jadded from it all.The same people at most of the events acting like they don't breathe oxygen. I am just really tired of it all.

All i just want to do is to curl up in bed for hours, read a book and watch my favourite serial 24 .....and daydream of when i would take a cruise on my yatch( yea....see it with the eye of faith) just beholding the beauty of God's creation,the world.

So for me is off to devour calamari at Saipan tonite!So much for being jadded from going out. Care to join me..

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Being single in Nigeria

Let’s talk about it ….being single in Nigeria above the age of 24 is like a social stigma

I went house hunting last week and had found this lovely 2 bedroom apartment a few house down the road i live in. I met the landlord, he seemed all okay with me renting his place until i meet his wife who coincidentally is not much older than me. First she starts asking questions about why I wanted a big flat to myself and what kind of friends I had etc etc etc. I even told her she could go get a character reference from the neighbors if that would make her happy and she had the nerve to say she wished my mum lived close by so she could ask. Summary, she refused to rent the place to me for that reason.

Next, I go for a job interview and meet the CEO of the company who amongst his first questions was to ask me why i was not married and that he had been advised by HR consultants to stay away from single girls as they were not very stable because they were not settled.

Or take the case of my aunty who told me that I may be under spiritual attack because I was fast approaching the big 30 and not married and that they were going to book special prayers on my behalf in church.

You get invites to events or people assume they can borrow you to run their own errand and when you complain about being busy, the always get the same answer about how busy can you be ,that what do you do with your free time since you were not married. There is just the general assumption that your time is not that important because you don't have that Mrs title attachd to it. Your 21 year cousin who is married is actually given more respect than you regardless of whatever acheivements you have in other areas of your life.

The time has come for people to realize that times have changed. Marriage is a good thing created by God for companionship and procreation but the truth is that with the rate of divorces in the world now, people should step back a minute and evaluate properly before they start pressurizing their friends or family members to say yes to the first man that asks or ask the first lady they meet. Current statistics prove that two in every three marriages in the world end in divorce with the unites states having the highest divorce rates in the world. Recent reports suggest that there is an increased mortality rate in fathers, mothers and children of divorces.

Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment. A Friend says that people marry in the honey moon phase of their relationships. He says there are four phases every relationship must pass before it culminates in marriage. Stage one, honeymoon phase. Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love or lust or whatever it is they falling into...sun appears to set on each other’s face blab bla bla. Stage two…Uncovering. They now start to see each other for who they truly can be or are by small manifestations and reactions to events or situations. This is the stage when they now start to realize they aint the perfect person they thought they had found. Stage three becomes the realization stage when you now know that the person is exactly as you have just seen in stage 2 .Then final stage…decision. Now this is where it can swing both ways. You either decide to live with what you have just discovered or move on swiftly. My friend. Let’s call him LD (that’s another story) believes people marry in phase one and I totally agree. Until you realize that that person Is a swine, doesn’t always shave or shower, drops their clothes on the floor and all the other things which can drive you batty but in spite of that, still brings a smile to your face, then you can’t be in love. Only and only when you have seen the worst of that person can you now make an objective decision really.

So to all those of you who would rather we are married without going through the cycle just for the chance to wear aso-ebi, spray money to show off and have another topic of gossip about who wore what or how the food was not nice….you better adjust your prayer points that the phases come and go quickly because glamazon is about to go through all of them right to the end…or would you rather have me move into your pad when it all goes kaput? Tell me!

i did it

Halleluyah!..i finally did it.I have been saying i would start blogging since forever but today becomes tomorrow and then next tomorrow and you just realise another month has gone by but yes..now i have done it. I just hope i can still remember all the things i wanted to say on my blog but let's see how this goes.....

Welcome to my world...a world of drama, business, fashion. technology all rolled into one bundle to give u your's truly..Moi...Glamazon. Allow me to take you into my world, one episode at a time, one story at a time..

Sit back and enjoy the ride.